Casual Picks for Casual Pricks: UFC Nashville
UFC Nashville takes place this weekend in, you guessed it, Nashville, Tennessee! The main event is Cub Swanson against highly-touted prospect Artem Lobov. Artem’s got a lot of potential and has some serious upset potential—hahahahaha, I can’t. I’m sorry. Before we get into the picks for UFC Nashville, let’s see how I did last week.
BOBBY KNUCKLES AND THUG ROSE MIXTAPE COMING SOON
At last week’s UFC on Fox 24 event, I went 8-5. That’s pretty damn good if you know my track record for picking on Gogopoda. The Smolka loss was a tough one, but at least it was a fun fight. Andrew Sanchez looked like he might have gotten me a W until Anthony Smith kicked his head into the uprights. I feel terrible for predicting Zak Cummings submission win because Nathan Coy nearly died. Thanks, Mike England! Robert Whittaker, who has apparently been dubbed “Bobby Knuckles” by the internet, dismantled Jacare Souza. Rose Namajunas’ head kick to rear naked choke sequence over Michelle Waterson was somehow both awesome and disgusting.
Featherweight: Cub Swanson vs. Artem Lobov
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Swanson, KO, 1 RD.
Lightweight: Al Iaquinta vs. Diego Sanchez
Iaquinta’s been on the shelf for almost two years because of issues with the UFC, but that shouldn’t stop him from busting up the ancient and extremely hittable Diego Sanchez. Iaquinta, Decision.
Catchweight (210 lbs): Ovince Saint Preux vs. Marcos Rogerio de Lima
OSP is coming off of three straight losses. He’s got another quick turn around against the dietarily challenged Marcos Rogerio de Lima. OSP should handle de Lima with ease and finish him with strikes. OSP, TKO, RD. 2.
Bantamweight: John Dodson vs. Eddie Wineland
Holy shit, be still my beating heart. This fight is going be off the chain. Two tiny men who possess ridiculous punching power. This fight boils down to whether Wineland can get a bead on Dodson and line up a clean shot. Dodson has looked outstanding at 135 and possess a ridiculous speed advantage. I think that advantage will win him this fight. Dodson, Decision.
Lightweight: Joe Lauzon vs. Stevie Ray
Joe Lauzon isn’t fighting Booker T’s brother, but I would absolutely watch the hell out of that. This Stevie Ray is a Scottish prospect (?) and has looked outstanding in his UFC tenure. J-Lau’s getting old but submission game is on point (Ray has lost 4 times by submission) and he can still pack a mean punch. He’s the only guy to ever knock out the unkillable Diego Sanchez. However, I think Ray is going to be a little too fast for him. Ray, Decision.
Welterweight: Jake Ellenberger vs. Mike Perry
Oh, my God. Mike Perry is going to absolutely flatten Jake Ellenberger. Perry, KO, RD. 1.
Middleweight: Thales Leites vs. Sam Alvey
Sam Alvey is trying to tie some kind of record that Cowboy Cerrone has. Something about most people brained in a cage fight in a 12 month period, I think? In any regard, Sam Alvey’s got a tough test in Thales Leites. That Thales fought for the title, you know. Thales is on a two fight skid and he’s also getting old. He’s got the tools to get ALvey to the ground and potentially submit him, but I don’t know if he has enough gas left in the tank to pull it off. Alvey, KO, RD.1
Flyweight: Dustin Ortiz vs. Brandon Moreno
CARTOON DUST CLOUD FIGHT, YES! This is going to be the mature older brother of the Elliot/Smolka grapple fest from last weekend. Ortiz, Decision.
Lightweight: Scott Hotlzman vs. Michael McBride
I can’t remember anything too memorable about either fighter besides Hotlzman’s nickname is Hot Sauce and McBridge was overweight before getting destroyed by Nik Letnz at UFC 203. I do remember that both guys like wrestling and submissions, so I imagine this will turn into a shitty kickboxing match. Holtzman, Decision.
Strawweight: Jessica Penne vs. Danielle Taylor
Penne was definitely someone who I thought would be in the mix of 115, but she’s stumbled since her only UFC win against Randa Markos. She’s gotten overwhelmed with strikes her last two fights. Taylor is very aggressive and I imagine she’s going to try to utilize a similar strategy as Joanna Champion and Jessica Andrade. One thing Taylor will do, and I think will be her undoing, is that she likes to initiate grappling exchanges which is Penne’s thing. Penne’s probably going to take advantage of that and get the fight to the ground. Penne, Decision.
Fight Pass Prelims
Bantamweight: Alexis Davis vs. Cindy Dandois
Cindy Dandois is coming off a win in Invicta FC which is an MMA organization exclusively for women. She has wins over some of the best female fighters in the world. She’s normally a 145er, which makes it completely baffling that the UFC even started that damn divison. Anyway, Alexis Davis is coming off a submission loss to Sara McMann who has looked like an absolute beast as of late. Davis really needs this win to get back in the mix. I feel like she’s one of the most unappreciated women at 135. Plus, she TKO’d the champ. Davis will have to use her grappling skills to negate Dandois’ size advantage. Davis, SUB, RD. 2.
Welterweight: Bryan Barberena vs. Joe Proctor
I honestly forgot Joe Proctor was in the UFC (I am so sorry, Joe). Barberena is a tough dude and an excellent grappler. I see him getting a submission. Barberna, SUB, RD. 3
Flyweight: Hector Sandoval vs. Matt Schnell
Schnell’s got 8 finishes out of 10 wins. Sandoval has 5. If you’re a DraftKings nerd like me, you pick Schnell. If you’re looking at this fight objectively, you’d pick…Schnell? Schnell, Decision.